Bad Bridge Hand 5: Worst Auction Ever

Have you ever heard that the definition of "insanity" is repeating the same action but expecting different results? Playing on BBO IMP pairs yet again with a pick-up partner (I never learn), I am dealt a very innocuous hand:

J765 J9 K82 A843

The bidding, however, quickly careens into the realm of the insane:

LHO 1 4 Dbl 7

Partner 2 6 Redbl 7

RHO 3 Pass Pass All Pass

Me 3 Pass Pass

Allow me to translate the bidding, in case you aren't fluent in Gibberish.

LHO: 1. "I have an opening bid and 5 hearts."

Partner: 2. "I'm 5-5 in the majors (Michaels)."

RHO: 3. "I have a good club suit and at least a dozen points to be introducing a new suit at the three-level."

Me: 3. "I think the Law of Total Tricks encourages me to bid. 5 spades + 4 spades = 9 tricks."

LHO: 4. "Would you like club support, partner? I have club support."

Partner: 6. "WaaHOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Yee-haw!! Whoop! Whoop!"

RHO: Pass. "Uh... you win."

Me: Pass. "I can't believe I have to play this."

LHO: Double. "You've got to be kidding."

Partner: Redouble. "Yee-HAWWWW!!! Whoop! Whoop! Fire in the hole!"

RHO: Pass. "I have no idea what's going on."

Me: Pass. "Me neither."

LHO: 7. "Ehhhh... maybe one of my two aces will be ruffed vs. 6. Mayday! Mayday!"

Partner: 7. "I shoulda passed 6-X, but you know what??? I'm gonna bid SEVEN! WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Yip! Yip! Whoop!"

RHO: Pass. "I'm no longer on speaking terms with my partner."

Me: Pass. "Me neither."

LHO: Pass. "Somehow I thought 6 was worth a double, but I think I just peed myself."

Now, you may be wondering what happens to 7, but then this wouldn't be part of my Bad Bridge article series, would it? Down 1, -50, -11.40 IMPs.